My Care Tag

A scholarship contest I applied to recently asked a series of four questions on their online application.  This in itself is not unusual, but the questions themselves were not the typical sort you would see on a “traditional ” application form.

As an example:

Q:  If you could write a “care tag” for yourself, like those that are on your clothes, what would it say?

And this is what I wrote:

For Best Results:

1. Refill with coffee frequently.

2. Handle with care – danger of explosion during exam periods.

3. Caution: Working parts may fail without notice.

4. Make sure broadband Internet connection is enabled.

5. When cleaning, use warm (not hot) water and non-corrosive detergents.

6. Sugar in excessive amounts can void warranty.

7. Allow sufficient downtime to maintain efficiency; 24/7 operation is not recommended.

8. Keep hands, feet, and clothing away from intake ports; this may result in damage to unit and/or serious injury.

9. Use responsibly, but do not overuse.

This list is subject to further revision in the future.  You’ll know when that happens.

Al B.

The Bleeding Edge (And Why I Don’t Live There)

Let’s talk about the newest, and the best, and the stuff that all the technogeeks slaver over…

And why you’ll not see me using it.

Most of the things I use are already “burned in”, and have the initial bugs worked out.  I don’t have the time or the inclination to deal with spontaneous flameouts with something so new that all the documentation isn’t written yet.  The biggest problem with the new, the latest, and the unproven as far as I’m concerned is the rabid slavering of those who have to have that new, that latest thing.

I just don’t get that… I used an old Underwood upright typewriter when I was young, and was quite happy to do so; I moved up to an electric typer only when the Underwood couldn’t be coaxed into service any more.  It took me three years to go from MS-DOS 3.3 to MS-DOS 6.1, and about the same length of time to go to Windows 95.

I have some computers that still run Win95; a couple that run Win98, and some that still do WinXP. (I never bothered with Windows 2000 or WinME.)  This unit I write on now runs Vista, and my wife Megan’s laptop uses Windows 7.  Why?  Because that’s what they came with.

I don’t care much for these automatic “force you to upgrade” programs that don’t give you a choice which version of a program you want to use… I live with them because I must.

Maybe I am missing out on progress, on being the first with the newest, and possibly the best… What I know is my nerves are much more settled, and I have fewer worries on that score.

My two drachmas worth; your mileage may vary.

Al B.